SPIRITUAL ESPRESSO SHOTS OF WISDOM FROM THE BOOK OF PROVERBS

Starting the day with a perfect cup!

It seems we are always looking for the ‘magic pill’ or shortcut in life that will somehow fix all our problems and to overcome the challenges. What if the ability to overcome life’s challenges was less about trying to “fix” the mistakes we’ve made and instead to simply learn how to prepare for them, better yet, avoid them altogether? That special ability can only be found by drinking from the cup of wisdom.

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Below is a series of Wisdom Shots that I hope will I hope you will to start your day perfectly.


CHEERS

 

ACKNOWLEDGE A GREAT CUP OF COFFEE (BEFORE ITS TOO LATE)!

Proverbs 3:27 “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.”

When I read this proverb this morning, I could not help but think about the times I have shared about my discovery of a wonderful coffee shop, restaurant, or any other amazing and unique services that I had stumbled upon, only to have someone pull me aside and tell me to ‘keep my voice down’ followed by, “we don’t want others know about it and ruin it for us”.


Whether the incredible discovery was from dumb luck or diligent searching, it is as if you are now a valued member of a secret society that allows you to enjoy all the incredible benefits that membership holds, but only if you keep it a secret. Although incredibly selfish, on the surface it seems like a wonderful membership. Yet our keeping this secret to ourselves is incredibly harmful to the success of the coffee shop, restaurant or service that is struggling to survive because they cannot find enough customers. We eventually arrive at our secret society meeting place to find that it has been forced to close due to a lack of business. We then begin our search again, suffer in the process and wonder why there are not more around.


We might chuckle at the above 'secret society' concept, but emotionally and spiritually we can do the same to our spouse, friends, co-workers, employees, and even strangers. This world can be a very cruel and dangerous place for our hearts to live and many people are giving everything we have to survive it, while others are taking advantage of them. Whether it is an employer who does not acknowledge the incredible work that their employee provides them (or visa-versa), only to see them lose heart and leave. We talk a close friend who has been your greatest fan and supporter out of taking a new job, or from pursuing an amazing relationship out of fear we would lose them, only to see them grow unhappy and frustrated in life. Perhaps worst of all, we put off for ‘tomorrow’ telling our spouse how amazing they are, how beautiful they are, how much we love them and how grateful we are for all they do for us, only to wake up one morning to find God has called them home, or worse, they can no longer endure our ingratitude or lack of love and withdraw their broken hearts from us and/or give us back your wedding band.


We generally discover too late that our ‘secret society of selfishness’ is in fact the worst membership we could ever be a part of. The incredible benefits we might reap from it in the short run, only destroys the very thing that we love most about it. When there is something, or someone, that is incredible and good in our lives, we should not hide it away, but shout it from the rooftops so that all can hear about it. What we fail to realize in our selfishness is that instead of watching an incredible and treasured ‘coffee shop’ (a heart) close, it would inspire and encourage more hearts just like them to be created. There would be enough for everyone. When someone is amazing, no matter what it might be, tell them today. Do it now before it is too late!


Share an Spiritual Espresso Shot of Wisdom with someone you love today and don't forget to cancel your "secret society of selfishness" membership!

Have a wonderful day.

 

BRING AN EXTRA CUP TO SHOW SOMEONE YOU CARE

Proverbs 11:25 "A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed."

When I read this proverb, I could not help but think about those horrible days when you wake up late, you're called in early to work, or you ran out of coffee at home and you miss your morning cup. Yet there is someone who knows and cares for you enough to help fill that unplanned void in your life. Not the spouse or roommate that sits back and watches you freaking out as you run at top speed to take a shower, put your clothes on with the tags on the inside, the shirt buttons lined up on the third try, and your hair combed. But the spouse or roommate that while you are freaking out, is quietly making you a cup of coffee to go. There is just something calming to have that familiar warm gift of love in your hand as you head out to meet the world. That generous and thoughtful person who refreshes and calms your soul and suddenly we hear Bob Marley singing to our hearts that "Everything's gonna be alright".

With a world so filled with hate, fear and mistrust, I see more and more people simply opting out on trying to make a difference in this world. When we see a need or someone struggling in life, instead of stepping up to help, we sit back and watch. Instead of stepping forward to offer a hand, we break out our camera phones and record their struggles for the world to see. We have forgotten how simple acts of kindness in the middle of such momentary challenges can change a life, or even save them.

I remember the story of a sister in our campus ministry who saw another young woman walking across campus with her head down and apparently deeply troubled. Instead of avoiding her, she took a moment to say hello, to ask how she was doing and invited her to a campus event they were having that evening. This young woman would later share that she was feeling totally hopeless and alone and had made the decision to go back to her dorm room to end her life by overdosing on sleeping pills. One act of kindness, a simple hello, had changed this young woman’s destiny and to this day she remains a beautiful and vibrant woman who loves God with all her heart.

How many lives have been saved by random acts kindness? How many school shootings, acts of violence, cruelty and memberships in hate groups have been prevented by simple acts of kindness by one individual? We will never know all of them. The most dangerous response is not having one at all. We either justify not doing them or pretend that our act of kindness does not really matter. However, perhaps an act of kindness on someone else’s part saved your life, or more importantly, the life of your child or family member? Honestly, saying hello and offering to refresh someone with a kind word or deed is really not that difficult.

From a brighter and more positive perspective, how many relationships have been created from a random act of kindness? I met my future wife and love of my life from such a random act. I know it works and each one can make a difference.

Yes, we might think of it as just a cup of coffee (friendship), but perhaps that random cup we are offering is far more important than we can ever imagine it being. Take a moment and refresh others and perhaps you will be refreshed beyond your wildest dreams. Go ahead, have a life-changing day!

 

REMEMBER, ITS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT THE COFFEE

Proverbs 24:11 "Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter."

When I read this proverb this morning, I could not help but think about a bakery that came up with the idea of pouring espresso shots of coffee into freshly baked doughnuts (see attached image). As one who loves donuts and coffee, and with countless businesses built around these two products, this at first seems like an incredibly delicious concept. My mouth waters just thinking about it and I would like to try it, once. However, someone who also likes more than one cup of coffee a day, I can only image the damage to my blood sugar count and waistline if each cup I drank was held by a pastry. "Could you make mine a Venti, no wait, let's make it a Trenta. I owe it to myself." They would need to have defibrillators sitting right next to the salt and pepper on each table. Yes, fresh doughnuts taste even more amazing with a cup of coffee, and it is fun to experiment with new ideas, but when we try to 'change the rules' of perfection (coffee poured into a cup), the long term effects can be dangerous, if not deadly.

Spiritually, we can do the same with our walks with God and/or within our core beliefs. In our desires to 'change things up' in order to win souls (to make our coffee look more attractive), we can end up spiritually killing those we are trying to help (they shift their desire from the coffee to the doughnut). Instead of focusing on our relationship and worship of God (coffee), it instead becomes about the entertainment, music, events, feelings, or even man-made methodologies and creeds (the doughnut). Yes, having these available 'on the side' can be helpful, but it should never become the newly required cup that holds (replaces) our relationship with God. If it does, then there is a very high chance that it will eventually kill us spiritually (a spiritual heart attack). Keep your eyes on what is most important.

Hebrews 12:1-3 says "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."


So when you're sipping your amazing cup of wisdom this morning and contemplating the coffee filled doughnut picture, just remember. It's ALL about the coffee (your relationship with God) and not the doughnut (religious distractions). Everything else is just a wonderful addition to your amazing day that is ahead of you.

 

HOT COFFEE NEEDS TO BE SIPPED SLOWLY

Proverbs 22:3 "The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty."

This proverb reminds me of the countless times I've either watched someone pour themselves, or buy a cup of hot coffee and then burn their mouths on it in their rush to drink it. I don't know about you, but no one goes to a freshly brewed pot of coffee expecting to find it 'lukewarm'. The coffee making equipment (pot, espresso, etc.) is designed to produce HOT coffee. Once it is poured, because it is so hot to hold, we'll even add a second insulation wrap to keep it from burning our hands as we carry it. So, even knowing and listening to all the above clues, many people in their rush to drink their coffee will still take that first big gulp and burn the inside of their mouth. Once burned, the taste of the coffee is ruined and our mouth is blistered. Forrest Gump's famous saying, 'stupid is as stupid does' comes to mind. Yet the next day, we will do it again.

Spiritually we can do the same thing when we ignore the wisdom that God has given us through 'common sense' and failing to learn from past mistakes. Even though we know that whenever we take a certain action it never turns out well, we do it anyways. Arguing over stupid things 'just to be right' never ends well, but we can't control our tongue. Each day we are presented with many of the same life choices, choices that we already know what the right decision is to find safety, peace and a refuge, but instead, we repeat our past mistakes and pay the penalty again, and again, and again.

I think of James 4:17 "If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them." Stupid is as stupid does.

What if... Just like with coffee, instead of rushing into something and getting burned, we took a moment before each decision in life to become 'prudent' (Websters definition - 'acting with or showing care and thought for the future') and thought about each decision or choice we were going to make. Imagine how much pain and suffering we could avoid and how amazing and peaceful the rest of the day would be. Think about how many important relationships you would protect and develop. Yes we want to jump in the middle of life and our day, but that brief pause we take could be the most important and valuable few seconds of it and even set us up for more successful and enjoyable one.

So today, I challenge you to not rush into it, but to sip life slowly and with a great deal of thought. I think you will find that you (and others) will enjoy it far more.

I hope you enjoyed this Spiritual Espresso Shot and I look forward to hearing your thoughts. Don't forget to share this cup with someone you care for.

 
 

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST - COFFEE TRANSFORMATIONS

Proverbs 27:14 "If anyone loudly blesses their neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse."

I had to chuckle when I read this proverb this morning and the 'coffee thoughts' that came with it. As a morning person, I'm up and ready to go with or without a cup of coffee (although I prefer a day with a cup). As I'm making my cup, my mind is in full gear thinking about my day, I'm humming a tune, and I desperately want to share all those thoughts and ideas with someone I care about. However, my wife (and so many other close friends) are not morning people. As a result, I've learned the hard way the dangers of not allowing them to first make, pour and absorb their morning cup before trying to hold a civil conversation with them. Even leading with loud compliments does not change their mood (it often makes them even more unruly). When I have forgotten such wisdom, the responses I get can range from the shaking of their head, a stern glare, to blood shooting out of their eyes in anger. Just like I've learned to never take a dog's food when they are eating, you should NEVER get in the way of a person's morning cup of coffee.

Spiritually, we can be the same. Some of us can jump up and see God working in every aspect of life (Spiritual Pollyanna's). Even if the day before was tough spiritually and saw many defeats. We see our time with God as the icing on top of an already freshly baked birthday cupcake that God made for us to start our day. However, they see their time with God as having to make their cupcake from scratch each morning. They are not happy about it, but they know how good it will taste when it is done and it's always worth the effort. For heavens 'bake', don't interrupt them while they are making it.

Only when they have completed their spiritual cup (time with God), and the warm delicious spiritual caffeine/sugar high is coursing through their veins, then (and only then) should you engage them. You will find that nasty beast that stumbled into the kitchen, coffee shop or break room has not only been tamed, they become an unstoppable force of good. I believe it is where the story-line from 'The Beauty and the Beast' came from. Only true love (God's) and patience (Us) can allow them to magically transform into something amazing.

So, if your spouse, brother or sister is one of those that needs to first spend time with God in order to transform, LET THEM. You will avoid a lot of pain and hurt feelings if you let them absorb that spiritual coffee first. They are more apt to sing with you, dance with you, and perhaps even listen to all your thoughts and dreams once they do. Just don't forget to listen to theirs too.

LOOKING FORWARD TO EACH CUP

Proverbs 19: 8 "The one who gets wisdom loves life; the one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper."

This proverb reminds me that a morning cup of coffee is not really about WHAT brand of coffee we drink, WHEN or WHERE we choose to drink it, or even WHO we drink it with. It's really about WHY we drink it. We drink coffee because we love it and we've grown to need it each morning in order to get our day going in the right direction. The day just never seems right without it. 

I remember my life before falling in love with coffee and how I never could grasp how others liked it (I even hated the smell of it brewing in the morning). I looked down on them for needing it to get their day going, who were enslaved by it, and even made fun of the 'crutch' they now relied on and the ritual they followed each morning. My apologies to those I made fun of in my long life without coffee (until I was I was 31). I was wrong.

Our attitude toward the pursuit of wisdom (a relationship with God) can be the same. I once thought that anyone who believed in God, or felt they need to make God an essential part of their day, were weak and broken people that need a crutch to survive the challenges in life. As a result, I hated the spiritual smell of it (them) and refused to partake in their ritual or even be willing to sample or test it. Again, my apologies to those who fell victim to my attitude and condemnation. I was so wrong.

There are many things in life that I don't look forward too each day as my eyes pop open, perhaps even resent or despise, but my time with God is not one of them. I can feel horrible (physically sick), guilty (sinfully sick), sad (heartbroken), and a hundred other feelings and emotions that tells me to just stay in bed and avoid opening God's word. However, I never despise or hate the thought of reading it and praying about it. It makes my sickness bearable, washes my conscience of guilt, mends my broken heart, and it gives me hope and a renewed purpose each day.

Instead of being enslaved by the routines of the world, it gives me freedom and energy to tackle whatever the world sends my way that day. I can drink such wisdom from any Bible I find, I can drink it wherever and whenever I want, and I can share a cup with whoever I want. It is the WHY I enjoy life each day. It is the most comforting and encouraging thing that I have ever found. God, not coffee.

So as you drink your spiritual cup of coffee today, don't feel embarrassed or guilty, hold you cup high and proud and drink deep and feel refreshed and empowered. Let your love of it (God) give you the power and strength to have an amazing day.

 

LOVE YOUR OWN CUP, IT'S THE PERFECT ONE

Proverbs 21:21-22 "Whoever pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honor. One who is wise can go up against the city of the mighty and pull down the stronghold in which they trust."

There are so many sips of wisdom we can take with this proverb, but I thought I'd take a slightly different path this morning. "The stronghold in which they trust" part reminded me of the times I have heard others, and myself, tell someone what the 'perfect cup' of coffee should taste like. Or worse, when someone tells you how they like their coffee (black, extra cream or extra sugar, only honey, etc.), we respond in shock and judgement with "how can you drink it like that?" and we immediately try to convince them that the way we drink our coffee (what we put in it) is the right way, or only way to drink it. We can even insist that they try drinking it our way, only to see them never finish the cup or hating every sip they take of it.

I think we would all agree that coffee is an acquired taste, and each of us takes a different journey or path to finding that 'perfect cup' and blend of ingredients (we might still be looking). However, when we step in and take that amazing journey away from someone, we take the focus off of the beauty of coffee (the reason we pour the cup) and instead make it about the ingredients that goes into it.

Sadly, we can do the same thing when we judge others spiritual walks and relationship with God. Instead of encouraging them to continue on this incredible journey they have started (a relationship with the creator of the universe), we often try to convince them that they need to follow our rules or methodologies if they are to find a true relationship with God. It stops being about God (the coffee) and begins to be more about what we do (the ingredients).

I love Jesus' answer to the teachers of the law (those who focused on the ingredients) who were arguing over the various best requirements of Old Testament laws and then tried to pull him into the debate.


Matthew 22:34-40"Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”


I love how Jesus made it clear that it was about Loving God and Loving your Neighbor, everything else was about supporting those two simple commandments. Even the most spiritual leaders of the day had lost sight of what was most important and instead were caught up in forcing people to follow their rules and methodologies if they were to be right with God (Matthew 15:1-9). It became more about the WHAT they did (rules), instead of the WHY they were doing it (out of love). That is what a perfect relationship should look (taste) like.

Yes there are Biblical truths with regards to salvation (becoming a son or daughter of God). However, just because the way we choose to love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength (the ingredients of this relationship) may look different than others (or our way), does not make theirs wrong (just different). Yes, there is always room for each of us to grow and experiment to see what might make that relationship (taste of your spiritual coffee) even deeper and more enjoyable, but it is their cup to drink, just as it is our cup to drink. Instead, we need to take a deep breath and enjoy the fact that they are choosing to drink this same incredible cup of God with you each day.

 

CHOOSE CAREFULLY WHO YOU DRINK WISDOM WITH

Proverbs 22:24-25 "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared."

This proverb really 'ticks me off!' (just kidding). I don't know about you, but when I wake up and stumble toward my morning cup of coffee, what I desire more than anything is to enjoy a peaceful, relaxing moment by myself or with my wife as we watch the sun rise above the mountains. So when I'm asked to meet someone for a cup of coffee and a discussion ("can I get some advice from you?"), the last thing I want to experience is them getting upset or flipping out during the discussion. That soothing cup of coffee I was so looking forward too, turns into acid indigestion and heartburn the rest of the day.

Through wisdom (life experiences) I've learned that there are basically two types of 'advice seekers'; one that is truly looking for advice and appreciates your input, and the other is someone who is only looking for confirmation of their life choice and they get very angry when you do not support it or advise against it. I've learned to never drink coffee (have spiritual conversations) with the latter, for nothing ever good comes from such meetings and it generally leads me into sin (anger).

I have found that after meeting with 'angry' individuals, that no matter how much preparation and prayer I do before the meeting, I inevitably find myself leaving with my spiritual clothes torn to pieces and my mind a guilty mess as it tries to figure out what I said that caused such an angry response, or worse, why I responded in anger back to them (yep, I 'learned their ways').

The truth is, if I did not agree with them, it did not matter how gentle or considerate my response or advice to them came across, their response would have been the same. In fact, it is a twisted part of their strategy to use their anger to get you to respond in anger so that they can then point out how sinful you are being (all while completely ignoring their own sin). So now, when I'm asked by such 'easily-angered' or 'hot-tempered' people to meet, I think of Jesus' words and advice in Matthew 7:6 when he said;

"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces."

Unfortunately, there are situations in life when we cannot avoid having to interact with angry people (co-worker, spouse, roommate). However, you don't have to let them ruin your morning cup or waste your pearls of wisdom on them. Although it can be painful to watch, instead of enabling, rescuing, or falling prey to them, sometimes the best thing we can do is to let a person suffer the consequences of their decisions. It might be their only way to learn or gain the lesson and wisdom they need to change. Here is a second cup of wisdom on that very topic;

Proverbs 19:19 "A hot-tempered person must pay the penalty; rescue them, and you will have to do it again."


So I hope this helps you to choose wisely who you share your cup of wisdom with. Life is too short and too amazing to let someone ruin it.

 

PRIDEFUL COFFEE NEVER TASTES GOOD

Proverbs 15:5 "A fool spurns a parent’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence."

There are so many ways to drink this espresso shot of wisdom and I invite and encourage you to make and pour your own 2nd cup and share it with the rest of us. However, when I read this proverb today, it reminded me of the many times I've watched someone (young or mature), trying to operate a new coffee machine for the first time, or trying to figure out how to use someone else's coffee maker without listening to the owner's advice (or that of others who do know how to operate it correctly). When such advice is ignored, we inevitably end up with a bad cup of coffee and/or heaven forbid, a wasted pot.

That same 'coffee making' analogy above can be true in dealing with life issues. Although this prideful approach is more often embraced by the youthful, even the old pro's of wisdom can make this mistake (even though we were supposed to have learned from past foolishness).

Although we're grateful when someone takes the initiative to jump up to make coffee for everyone, their approach is a sure sign of how good the coffee will end up tasting when it hits the pot. Instead of asking for and following 'life' advice from those we trust (those who stood in front of the very same life issue), we want to 'show off' our 'know it all' abilities and in our pride and folly we ignore all the help that is being offered that could keep us from failing.

I don't know about you, but I remember taking this same prideful approach many times in life (ignoring or seeking advice) and have had to navigate the damage it has caused. However, good can still come from it (don't be discouraged), developing the wisdom that we can share with others (assuming they wish to listen). I think of what the older Paul said to the younger Timothy.

1 Timothy 1:15 "Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst."


I have watched my son and daughter, my spiritual brothers and sisters, co-workers, and even business and church leaders foolishly ignoring the wise advice being offered by those around them. They try to help them avoid the personal or group 'life' catastrophe that we know will be coming with such a prideful approach. However, once they realize that any and all such advice being offered will be ignored, they step back and sadly watch the person wreck a perfectly good pot of coffee (their lives and often the lives of others connected to them).

Although the need for the above person to change is clear, the other challenge often lays with the people watching. Our response can wrongly support their continual folly. Instead of telling them the truth, we try to encourage them by drinking a cup of their 'pride coffee' and even lie and say it tastes good (i.e. we're happy for their life decision choice). Yet, when they are not looking we are spitting out the coffee grounds between sips or pouring it down the sink. Sadly, instead of learning (even though the truth might hurt), the prideful brewer of the coffee ends up brewing the same horrible pot (life decision) each time and we often are forced to drink it with them.

Proverbs 14:25 "A truthful witness saves lives, but a false witness is deceitful."


Life should not be about saying what someones 'itching ears' want to hear (2 timothy 4:3), but about telling the truth in love. Truth does not mean we falsely embrace their choice and smile, nor does it mean we harshly attack their talents and abilities (they were at least willing to try). We sit aside their cup (being honest and concerned) and offer to show them how to make a better cup (wisdom based on life experiences). If they refuse to listen and learn how to apply this advice (use the machine correctly), we don't keep drinking theirs, we make a new pot for everyone else and pray they eventually will sit aside their pride and come to their senses.

There is obviously a great in this proverb (and analogy) that could be pursued further and/or applied in different ways to our lives and make today's Spiritual Espresso Shot of wisdom more enjoyable. So study it out on your own and share what you learn with the rest of us in this group and with those still outside of it.

Have a great day and don't be afraid to speak the truth in love.

 

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DRINK A BAD CUP OF COFFEE

Proverbs 14:10 "Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy."

It's hard to believe, but there is a lot of wisdom that can be learned from drinking coffee. For example, this proverb reminded me of how many times I've listened to someone who was poured or ordered a bad cup of coffee, and instead of taking it back and getting a fresh one that tastes good, they continue to sip and complain to everyone about how bad the one they have tastes. Even more annoying is when they ask you to taste it. If it's bad cup of coffee, take it back! More importantly, let the person or establishment know so they can replace it and not keep serving it to others. And for the record, the last thing I want to do is ruin my perfect cup by being required to taste your bitter one.

Interestingly enough, we can do the same spiritually with relationships or life situations. Whether it is a spouse, family member, friend, co-worker or boss, people (yes, even us) will say or do things that hurt us (intentionally or innocently). However, how we respond is to them is far more important than what was said. We always have two wise or unwise options to choose from:

Option 1: Continue To Drink The Bitter Cup

This option we generally walk away (or go into silent mode until they leave) and then start replaying in our minds (continue to sip the bitter coffee) the words or situation that just occurred. With each bitter replay we grow more and more bitter and angry at the person. Generally, this growing bitterness overflows and pours into other family members or co-workers (gossip) and we try to convince them to embrace (drink) the same bitter attitude toward the person that you have (even though they were not hurt by them. Soon, the whole family or office is caught up in your bitterness. Nothing good comes from this approach and it's never a fun family or working environment.

Option 2: Quietly and Respectfully Take It Back

When someone hurts our feelings, start by giving them the benefit of the doubt (that it was not on purpose) and let them know. Not yelling it in front of everyone in the office or family (that can be our tendencies when our feeling are hurt), but privately and respectfully. Let them know how it made you feel (i.e. it tastes bad) and that you know it was not on purpose (i.e. they did not do it deliberately). If you want an apology (a new cup), it is always better to deescalate a situation, not escalate one. If their intentions were good, they will apologize. Even if they don't, we need to respond righteously (stay calm and respectful). In some situations (when they choose not to apologize) our best recourse is to simply to no longer frequent the establishment (they lost your business). However, in family or co-workers situations (the relationship is too valuable), the apology may come a little later (once the pride or embarrassment passes). Give them time to come to their senses now that they know how they made you feel.

No matter how they respond, you will not only feel better (not bitter) about how your responded, others will too. We can't let bitterness ruin our day, occupy our thoughts or destroy a relationship. Especially if it is the only coffee shop in the area.

Have a wonderful New Years and make sure you drink a great cup of spiritual coffee this morning. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts, insights and feedback.

 

©2018 by Richard A Hackett Jr.